Mother’s day musings May 12, 2008

Since we had THREE baseball games yesterday (oy!), I had a lot of time to think about Mother’s Day and how it has changed for me over the years.

Obviously, when you’re a little kid, the number one thing you can do for your mom on MD is to make her something special. And that’s what my three kiddos did. In fact, I was bawling my eyes out before 7:30 AM, which both concerned and thrilled them at the same time. The thing that did it for me was my 13 year old’s illustrated poem; we’ve had kind of a tough year with him so that meant so much to me.

Then, at the baseball game, this kid was on FIYAH. He hit two doubles, masterminded a double play, and ended up being one of the most valuable players of the tournament. In between the games, the team stood up one by one and did a verbal tribute to their moms. I swear to God, there wasn’t a dry eye on the field. These big ol’ strapping boys telling their moms how much they love ‘em was just over the TOP for this girl. Then hugs and kisses all day from all three rugrats - man, it was awesome.

Then came time for the obligatory call to my mom. I love my mom. I really do. She’s just hard to talk to. And that’s okay. We chatted for a little while, I updated her on the kids, thanked her for the card she sent me. It was nice. Most of our phone calls revolve around her telling me how wonderful my brothers are and what they’re doing….she still hasn’t gotten over the fact that I got married and moved away and I’m NOT moving back. It’s hard for her, I know, and I try to be patient.

The whole Mom thing is weird. My relationship with my Mom? It is what it is. I know that she is very limited in her ability to have relationships with other folks, and so I need to take that into account, and just be thankful for what we have. And I really, really, am.

Pros and cons of working from home. April 29, 2008

Pros!

You get to snuggle in your Nana’s afghan that she made for you when you were 12 from your favorite colors at the time: yellow, purple, and oh yes! More purple.

You get to drink a LOT OF COFFEE.

You can go to the bathroom whenever you want (see above).

You can watch your complete DVD set of “Sex and the City” while you are typing very serious things about technology and Web 2.0.

Cons!

All those candy bars? That are in the cupboard? Uh huh.

You talk to your cats. A lot. Hello, kitties!

You kind of entertain the thought of napping way too much. Because, you know, YOU TOTALLY CAN.

Random thoughts April 10, 2008

- Boys with horrible hacky coughs and fever STILL can play five hours straight of Paper Mario.
- My yard is currently being destroyed by husband and two friends. It will look very nice when it’s all done, but now, it’s a giant dirt pile with my poor uprooted plants all toes up. I can almost hear them screaming. Well, not really, that would be creepy.
- I can’t wait to get another mani/pedi, and in fact, I’m kind of chipping my nails ON PURPOSE to speed up this event.
- I’m concerned about some of my work projects.
- My house is messy.
- So is my car.
- My car is being blocked by aforementioned two friends’ big honkin’ white truck.
- I need my car to go pick up kids at school.
- I probably should brush my teeth before I do this.
- Would gum be okay as a substitute?

Guess what happens when you say “I haven’t gotten sick yet this year!” April 10, 2008

That’s right! YOU GET SICK.

Although I haven’t gotten it as bad as Henry, who after a full week of coughing up a lung is STILL sounding like a 3 pack a day smoker, and is probably going to have to visit the doctor, who will tell me that it’s a virus and he can’t have anything, so I will continue to dose him up with children’s Robitussin, which doesn’t work, except to make him drowsy. And at this point, I’ll take drowsy.

One thing though, that I’m wrestling with, and I’m sure you moms can help me out with this. If your kid is hacking up some serious lung butter, but doesn’t have any other symptoms (other than a stuffy nose), do you send him or her to school? He’s fine except he coughs CONSTANTLY. I would personally be ticked if a parent sent their kid to school sounding like this, but it’s a fine line. What do you think?

I am really going to miss Dana. March 16, 2008

So I have a Netflix subscription, and I mostly get documentaries, chick flicks, stuff I don’t really want to buy but want to watch, etc. I love the instant watching thing best of all because it’s a lovely thrill to fire up my laptop, put on my headphones, get cozy in bed with a couple of cats and watch stuff, all by myself. Lately I’ve been forging my way through “The L Word”, from Showtime, and I’m in the third season. Anyone who is familiar with the third season knows this is when Dana gets sick and eventually succumbs to her breast cancer.

Well, last night’s episode was one of the ones leading up to the eventual death of Dana, when she is in the hospital for a mastectomy. And her friends were gathered all around her, loving her, touching her. Just their touch was powerful to her, the fact that they were there to share this with her. And oh, I was just bawling. I really needed to just have a good sob, not because I’m sad per se, but I think we girls have a finite amount of emotional restraint available and it needs to come out about once a month, kwim? So I sat there in my jammies and blankets and cats, and I just cried. And yes, I know these are all fictional characters, but to my heart, they are real.

Saturday musings February 16, 2008

So I was thinking yesterday about why, exactly, it is that I don’t seem to have anybody I can just call up and shoot the breeze with. I don’t have any girlfriends to hang out with, nobody that I go to coffee with, or take walks with, or anything that I see all the other women of my age doing on a daily basis. There seems to be some kind of friend culture that I have been shut out of and I couldn’t figure out why, exactly.

I mean, it’s not because I’m not friendly, I’m not psycho. I’m a great listener; in fact, when people have a crisis I usually get to hear all about it. I’m encouraging, open, warm, all the things you would want in a friend. And yet, I don’t have anyone. Not one person.

I thought that I used to have a friend, until I finally figured out that she was just using me to complain about her husband. Did I waste so much energy on her that now I’m no good for anyone else?

I have to confess: I watch shows like “The L Word” and I’m horrifyingly jealous of the easy way they weave in and out of each other’s lives. I wish I had that. The only person I talk to on a regular basis is my husband, and while he’s a nice guy he is also so opposite of me in pretty much anything that it gets very tiresome, since he loves to debate and I do not (it’s an election year, and that’s all I’m going to say).

So what is it about me that says “don’t bother”? I’ve got a few theories. First, it’s because I’m about 100 pounds overweight. That’s the first time I’ve put that into writing. I am obese. Which leads me into my next theory - because of this fat, I am also tremendously introverted. People, quite frankly, scare the shit out of me. I go out of my way to avoid having to talk to people, which, when you read what I already wrote about having no friends, is kind of a “duh” moment, but there it is. Last theory: I’ve got a tremendously obnoxious husband and a kid with special needs that take up a LOT of my energy, and so by the time I’m done with working 60 hours a week and dealing with the two of them, the thought of having to muster up some sparkling conversation quite honestly exhausts me.

So what’s a lonely girl to do? I don’t know. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, although I do have times (like last night) where I do. I’ve become a very solitary person, mostly because of the reasons I’ve mentioned. I know that getting this weight off will free me of a lot of stuff I’ve been hanging on to, it’s just a matter of sticking with something. Food is my drug, it’s my friendship that I don’t have.

Well, one thing at a time, I guess. This post won’t win any awards for being well-written, but it certainly helps to get stuff down on virtual paper.

Miscellaneous January 29, 2008

*The whole showering process: getting clothes to wear, showering, getting dressed, etc. - is very tedious to me. That doesn’t mean I’m dirty, it just means I find it very boring.

*My jammies last night were made of some deceptive kind of fabric that felt really good but held in heat weirdly, so I kept waking up.

*I like mint in my coffee.

*My cat is a raging biyatch this morning.

*I like listening to Hype Machine because it makes me feel hip and happening.

*I’m thinking about summer this morning as I look outside and see how dreary it is.

*I’m slowly getting myself ready for a big workout in which I will run on the treadmill and watch Sex and the City.

*I worked about 14 hours yesterday.

*It’s trying to snow outside.

*I’m almost done crocheting a shawl for my seven year old. I’ll post pics here when I’m done.

Thanksgiving is over November 26, 2007

So I was pretty good, diet-wise, this week. I didn’t overeat (much) and I went on massively long walks. Overall, I posted a -2 loss this week - w00t for me!

We had to stay with the MIL and OH MY GOD. She gets on my nerves within about five minutes. I love her, but CRIPES. For example: we were trying to pack up Saturday morning and every five minutes she’s pulling DH to do something: “would you change this lightbulb?” “would you fix my computer?” etc. You get the picture. She also loves to sit there in the living room with us while we’re perched on the hideabed, ready to go to sleep, and talk to us for three hours until we finally just turn over and start snoring. Argh. I love her, but I’m glad I don’t live right next door.

Thanksgiving is over, and Christmas season is upon us again. The husband is a wee bit fanatical about decorating the house; in fact, this year, he’s going for the big prize of Best Dressed House in our town. We’ve got more lights, inflatables, and various fun stuff to put out there on the yard then anyone I know. I’ll post a picture when we’re all done, it’s sure to be awesome.

I vote for a mandatory blogosphere naptime January 30, 2007

You know, getting mad at people for perceived insults is really easy. Not to mention gratifying! I mean, how AWESOME is it to get upset about something and blow off some steam? Feels good!

However, then there’s the backlash. People’s feelings get hurt. You feel kinda stupid (I know, because I’ve done this). And you would do anything to have thought about it just a leeetle bit more before you did the Grand Rant.

I think one thing I’ve learned throughout my blogging career (such as it is) is that you’ve got to really think how your words will affect other people before you say them. Because as fast as the Web is, it’s still not as fast as face to face communication. If I offend my husband, I can ask his forgiveness within seconds (well, let’s get real. He needs to EARN that forgiveness, baby!). However, once you write something out there, you can’t really get it back, and it comes back to haunt you again and again. Oh, and once more. Again.

I love that we can communicate with each other on the Web; it’s a wonderful medium for ideas, content, and accessibility. But sometimes, we get so obssesed with maxing all of those things out that we forget the primary factor in this equation: people. It’s not just data and page views and “transparency” and gadgets that makes the world go ’round, after all.

Why Digg should absolutely be in Google’s search results. January 3, 2007

Big discussion going on at Search Engine Journal about this question:

Should Digg’s “diggs” be in Google’s search results?

My first response was “well, why the hell not?” At its most basic, Digg is a community-run search engine, much like the Wikiasari juggernaut that should soon be coming our way, freeing us from the chains of our Google overlords and heralding in a whole new way of searching the Web, making information available, finding my lost cell phone cable - heck, it probaly could do pretty much ANYTHING, people. You’ve been warned.

What was I talking about? Oh, yes - Digg. Well, let’s look at a few things here:

• Digg helps make searching productive.Type in freeware to Google and you’re going to get a hot mess. Jumbles of pretty much crap that the uninitiated (read: those who actually have a life outside the computer world) will have little patience sorting through. Type in freeware to Digg and you feel like you just entered the Members Only club in Disneyland. No waiting, no crowds, and you’re riding the ride you want to ride. Of course, you do have to put up with quite a few wankers, but that’s a small price to pay for instant access.
• If Digg shouldn’t be in search results, then neither should Wikipedia. Shoot, if we’re going to go all hardcore on Digg results, then let’s kick out all the community-oriented stuff, shall we? So no more Wikipedia, no more Flickr, no more Slashdot, no more anything that has links. Which, I’m pretty sure, cancels out say about 99%of the Interwebs. Huzzah - let’s party like it’s 1991! Go Tim Berners-Lee, it’s your birthday, it’s your birthday!

Honestly, I find this very perplexing. Sure, Digg could stand to clean up their system QUITE a bit (see above for wankers explanation), but actually kicking them out of Google? Kind of a pointless argument to bring up the fact that Digg SERP’s are links pointing to links, because golly gee whillikers, Bobby: that’s what the Web is, you know, kind of MADE OF. Links.

Now, if you really just can’t live through the day without getting your panties in a bunch about something, then I suggest that we all move on from the whole non-issue of Google and Digg SERP’s and move on to the very real issue of HOW INCREDIBLY CRAPPY GOOGLE’S RESULTS ARE STARTING TO BE. Holy Spamalot, Batman. I mean, seriously.

See, once upon a time when the Web was (relatively) new and Web 2.0 was just a distant buzzword, you typed in something to Google and you got something back useful. Wild, eh?

I’m a big Google fan myself - in fact, you won’t find a more fanatical Google cheerleader then this chick right here. But I think it’s time to take the old girl in for a tuneup: flush the spam filter, tweak the peripheral services, and maybe take off some of the “useful” widgets and put on something more useful, oh, I don’t know - say like ANYTHING. I can’t stand cute little widgets that don’t do anything but suck my system resources.

Well, enough rantings. To summarize:

• Digg in Google SERPs: Good!
• Spam in Google SERPs: Bad!

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