Today was a hard day.

This was the first week of school in my neck of the woods, and while my oldest has adjusted fantastically to middle school (I KNOW! Amazing!), my two little ones are having a hell of a time.

Emma misses me. She misses her mommy. And I miss her. She misses her best friend, big brother Henry, who depends on her to navigate for him since he doesen’t understand a lot of what is going on around him. And while school was really fun at first, she’s beginning to let me know that it’s just one long day without Mommy and that’s not fun anymore.

This morning, Henry had the Meltdown of All Meltdowns. He *thought* he was going to get to do computers today, but when his teacher told him they didn’t have computers until NEXT week, he just matter of factly picked up his stuff and said “well, then I’m not coming to class” and started walking out to the parking lot. Seriously!

Then the fit started when I told him he’d have to go back to class. Three hours later, after about 10 different education professionals got ahold of him, he finally went back to class.

Here’s where my brain is at right now:

We’re (probably) moving in the next three months. We want to get out of where we live and get back to our friends and family.

We are thinking about homeschooling all three since we both would be home. GASP! I know. I’m scared. But I figure we’ll try it for a year and see what happens. We can’t kill them in a year, right? Right?

I’m tired of Henry having such a hard time, being so far behind, being labeled “special needs.” It breaks my heart. He’s a smart kid but he’s been in school for so long that I don’t know what his potential is anymore! I really don’t! And that scares the shit out of me. He hates to learn and he’s only 8 years old. Can he be rescued from that?

Emma just wants to be with Mommy and brother, how can I look in her big blue eyes and say, “no, you can’t.”

James just wants to be home to learn, to teach himself geology (yep) and write a novel.

I think it’s going to happen. I’m scared. But I can’t put up with this much longer.

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