So! Apparently, the reason why my husband has been such an ass these past few years is not just because he’s out to get me. He has a certifiable mental illness. Dang it! And just when I was really starting to enjoy yelling at him.
He’s been tentatively diagnosed with schizophrenia, which sounds a lot scarier than it is. Basically, he hears voices, and he is paranoid, and is very contradictory, and there’s a lot more, but that’s the major stuff. Plus, he struggles with rage addiction, which means that not only is he crazy, he’s ANGRY crazy. Good times.
However, he’s getting help, mostly because I told him that if he did not get help, I would have to kick him out to live with his mother, which was a huge motivator. He’s on meds, which seem to be helping, and once we can get him on better insurance (maybe we should move to Canada? hmmm), we’re going to get him even more help.
I finally had to talk to someone about this yesterday, and of course, now this blog, because I’m a very, very private person but privacy can only go so far. My sister in law has been noticing stuff for years, and told me I must be the most patient person in the world. She also told me that I’m good at putting up a front, but it tends to make people believe I don’t need anything.
Which was very perceptive of her.
I’m much better at listening than I am at talking. I feel bad if I have a problem and need to burden someone else with it – I’d much rather just deal with it on my own. That’s probably not very healthy, right? Huh.
Anyway, working on a lot of things over here at Boz Casa, not the least of which is my crazy husband. Ha! That’s not just metaphorically speaking anymore!
Tags: mental illness