Last night I had one of those dreams that are so real, you wake up and think it really happened. It was the first day of school, and I was walking the kids to their classrooms (which I couldn’t find, of course!). I saw a lot of moms that I knew, and said “hi” to them all. In every single instance, they either ignored me or looked right through me. I repeated myself; one mom grudgingly said “hi” back like it pained her to do so, another threw a quick “hi” at me and then hurried away, etc.
It was (obviously) not a fun dream, mostly because it’s somewhat rooted in reality. I don’t know what it is about me that causes people to overlook me……it’s hurtful, sure, but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m pretty used to it. I can be walking right towards a group of people, say hi to every one of them, and won’t be acknowledged. When I talk to people one on one, I watch as their eyes start flicking around to see if there’s anyone else more interesting to talk to than me. If I dare to bring up something that’s important to me, eyes glaze over and excuses are quickly made.
Now, it might sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself….and well, I guess I sort of am! I just am trying to figure this all out.