Archive for the ‘Bad Mom!’ Category


April 6, 2008

You ever get those days when you just want to do something…..different?

My life is fine, I’m happy, got a good family, work is good, etc. But I’m getting a little bit of cabin fever. I want to do something out of the ordinary, well, at least for me it would be out of the ordinary!

I need to do more cultural enrichment sort of stuff. Back in the day (read: before kids) I used to go to classical concerts, art shows, book readings all the time. Even did a war protest (the first Iraq war; I got a little bit of tear gas). I live in close proximity to a very culturally active city – why am I not taking more advantage of it?


Oh, yes, please use the jackhammer, by all means

February 28, 2008

So here in the town of Sherwood, we have entered the season commonly known as Dig The Living Hell Out Of Everything. Unfortunately, this year, that means my street. Currently, as I write, there are about four big bearded men jackhammering the SHIT out of the street in front of our house. It’s only 10:30 in the morning, but I think that I might have to start drinking a little early to deal.

P.S. Would it be bad if I accidentally cut the hose to their pneumatic thingy? I’m guessing it would, but at this point, I would gladly go to jail for a few minutes of peace and quiet.

I could seriously sleep All. The. Time. lately

February 27, 2008

Ever have those days where all you want to do is crawl back into bed? Not because you’re sad or not having a good day or anything like that. No, no. Here’s why I wanted to crawl back into bed today: because I changed the sheets, and I LOVE that nice crispy new sheet feeling, and I have a big Ikea comforter staring me in the face, and I had a ton of work to do that was fun but not Disneyland fun, and man, did I ever want to go back to bed.

But I resisted. Barely.

Man, being an adult sucks sometimes!


November 20, 2007

Know why? I’ll tell you. I read my 13 year old’s diary. This guy.


See, here’s what happened. I decided to take a break and clean the house….well, at least make things look pretty. So I was in his room, and decided to make his bed, and the diary just kind of fell out from under his pillow and I ALMOST took the high road and didn’t read it but then I was all like “Hey! I could put this in my blog, since I don’t really have anything else to write about” and things just kind of steamrolled from there.

So! Here are a few snippets that we can laugh at learn from.

Today I had to do chores all day. I think Mom and Dad are determined to make me as miserable as possible.

HA HA HA! Oh, crap, I just peed myself laughing at how pathetic this is, and yet so poignant. Onward:

I am so hot for (girl at school). I hope I can hook up with her.

Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? You are NOT ALLOWED to be hot for girls at your age and while you’re under my roof. Wait until you’re about, oh, let’s say, 34. Then I don’t have to think about the fact that Mommy’s Widdle Baby is a horndog.

Pretty much the rest of the journal is in one or both of these lines of thinking. I’ll update with more once he writes in there again……I’ll have to hurdle various moral objections that my conscience will throw at me for doing this, but that shouldn’t be much of an issue.