Archive for the ‘Sad Momma’ Category

Friends who really aren’t friends, but say they’re friends, but don’t act like friends.

February 7, 2008

Did that title make enough sense? Or not? Pretty much not, but I couldn’t think of anything better.

Here’s the situation. I have a friend, let’s call her Pansy, who I’ve known for over ten years now. You would think we would know each other pretty well by now, right? That we would be attuned to each other’s needs, know each other’s experiences, etc.

Well, unfortunately, this is not that kind of friendship. Oh, no. This is the kind of friendship where I get to sit and listen to Pansy talk about herself for hours on end. Where I get to hear PANSY’s needs, PANSY’S experiences, and all about PANSY’S problems. I have to be suitably sympathetic as the need arises, always supportive, and witty, too.

Sounds like a bum deal, doesn’t it? It gets better. See, this friend has no idea Who. I. Am. Here’s a few things we don’t talk about, because they are not about Pansy:

– the fact that I wrote a book this year, and it’s actually been published by a major publishing house, and people BUY IT. It’s in STORES, even. We don’t talk about this (she doesn’t even know I wrote it) because she writes horrifically awful soft porno, and wants to be published in that industry. Believe me, I know it’s that bad, because she made me read it.

– We don’t talk about how my middle son is going to be getting open chest surgery in the next couple of months to correct a heart problem. Because that would take away from her angst about her ex-husband, and Good Lord, we wouldn’t want to do that.

– We pretty much don’t talk about anything that includes anything that is not Pansy. End of story, Amen.

So how did I get into this situation? Why do I allow this to go on? I don’t know. I’ve always attracted friends like this, though, ever since I can remember. I’ve been told it’s because I’m a good listener, which is what a friend should DO, after all, but I just wish this friend was not so damn self-centered. I wish she would be interested in me for ME, not for what I can do to bring the focus on her.

Friends who really aren't friends, but say they're friends, but don't act like friends.

February 7, 2008

Did that title make enough sense? Or not? Pretty much not, but I couldn’t think of anything better.

Here’s the situation. I have a friend, let’s call her Pansy, who I’ve known for over ten years now. You would think we would know each other pretty well by now, right? That we would be attuned to each other’s needs, know each other’s experiences, etc.

Well, unfortunately, this is not that kind of friendship. Oh, no. This is the kind of friendship where I get to sit and listen to Pansy talk about herself for hours on end. Where I get to hear PANSY’s needs, PANSY’S experiences, and all about PANSY’S problems. I have to be suitably sympathetic as the need arises, always supportive, and witty, too.

Sounds like a bum deal, doesn’t it? It gets better. See, this friend has no idea Who. I. Am. Here’s a few things we don’t talk about, because they are not about Pansy:

– the fact that I wrote a book this year, and it’s actually been published by a major publishing house, and people BUY IT. It’s in STORES, even. We don’t talk about this (she doesn’t even know I wrote it) because she writes horrifically awful soft porno, and wants to be published in that industry. Believe me, I know it’s that bad, because she made me read it.

– We don’t talk about how my middle son is going to be getting open chest surgery in the next couple of months to correct a heart problem. Because that would take away from her angst about her ex-husband, and Good Lord, we wouldn’t want to do that.

– We pretty much don’t talk about anything that includes anything that is not Pansy. End of story, Amen.

So how did I get into this situation? Why do I allow this to go on? I don’t know. I’ve always attracted friends like this, though, ever since I can remember. I’ve been told it’s because I’m a good listener, which is what a friend should DO, after all, but I just wish this friend was not so damn self-centered. I wish she would be interested in me for ME, not for what I can do to bring the focus on her.

Tough week.

December 19, 2007

This week, two of the people I grew up with have died. In the last WEEK. One by unknown causes, one by her own hand (hanging). I’m heartsick for the parents and siblings. These are all people that my husband and I grew up with, hung out with, went on trips with, youth group buddies, etc. I feel really sad.